Have an objection to your man going to a strip- club for his Bachelor party, but don’t want to seem like Melissa (Stu’s bitchy girlfriend) from The Hangover? Subtly suggest one of these other alternatives, and he’ll forget all about scantily-clad pole-dancers (hopefully).
1. Send ‘em to a Brewpub: Nationally, there are plenty of locations where your beloved and his group of guys can get together to brew-and drink-their own beer. From Washington State, to Kalamazo, MI, micro-breweries give beer tutorials and allow visitors to participate in the process. Many even offer live entertainment (like bands and DJs, not naked ladies) while you party. For starters, check out Bells and Kraftbrau in Kalamazoo, MI, Shenandoah Brewery in Shenandoah, Washington, the Bluepoint Brewery on Long Island, and Brew It Up in Sacramento, California.
2. Hole-in-one: So, this one isn’t exactly G-rated, but maybe PG-13ish. If your man likes to golf, look into courses that offer “Par-Mates,” AKA pretty ladies that act as caddies for your guys. The buck stops there, though, and the girls stay at the golf course once the men finish their 18-holes, so there’s no need to let your imagination run wild thinking about the crazy after-party. “Par-Mates” are predominately found in Las Vegas, so just make sure your man goes a few months ahead of the wedding to avoid any Hangover-like catastrophes.
3. Skiing, Jet-skiing, Bungee-jumping: If there’s one thing men like almost as much as they like sex, it’s a good old fashioned adrenaline rush. I’ve even heard guys I know say they’d rather ski than have sex. So get the boys packing and send them on a little adventure-camp weekend to a resort with the appropriate climate, to do something that will get their hearts pumping. Most ski-resorts and beach towns have great nightlife too, if the guys have the energy to go out at night. Can’t afford a resort? Camping is much cheaper, and ups the male-bonding, manliness, man-experience, man time (etc., etc.) of the trip.
And ladies, don’t forget that there are plenty of ways to celebrate getting married that don’t involve carrying a blow-up penis around a bar while wearing a hot- pink boa. Try a spa day, or have a sex-toy party and hire a “consultant” to come to your house and show you how to make the most of your wedding night.